The What & Why Of Sexting

 It’s no surprise that with the increase in long-distance relationships, whether it’s because of the pandemic or couples living their busiest work lives in different states, communication has been a key aspect of relationships. And what better way to feel closer and express intimacy than sexting?  

From small and meaningful messages to a full-fledged sexual experience, sexting is one of the most popular ways to spice up a relationship. Here’s what people like about it. 
Sexting & Why People Do It 
Sexting is the act of sending explicit messages or photos to people. While it might not completely match up to real life dating, it has been a boon during the pandemic where meeting total strangers wasn’t the best idea for public health. Thus, people have embraced apps to chat and sexting as a healthier option to continue socialising and explore new avenues of intimacy and passion. 
Dating holds long-term satisfaction because of the whole process of us getting to know another individual for a longer amount of time and growing with them, but sexting is an alternative that brings some connection without the risk of investing too much before we’re ready. Why do people choose sexting: 
  1. Convenience: Sexting doesn’t need a specific time or extensive planning to achieve, unlike in-person or hookups. Not to mention, according to one of our previous blog posts, meeting new people has a skepticism attached to it that wasn’t seen as much before. While some people are tired of dating apps leading to exhaustive matches and incomplete conversations, sexting is a simpler option for sexual release without hard work. 


  1. Freedom: People are better guarded behind a screen rather than they would be in person. It makes it a little easier to be okay with our flaws and anxieties when we don’t have to face that person directly and opens up a chance to explore parts of ourselves and others, which could have been uncomfortable otherwise. A digital barrier helps us experiment sexually. 


  1. Trust & Intimacy: Physical intimacy doesn’t come easy for everyone. People have different definitions of sex and intimacy once they start their sexual journies. For those who like to take their time, sexting is a good start. They hold the option of meeting their partner in person or not. Being vulnerable here, with a barrier and more choices is easier and thus leads to better trust and connections. 


  1. Enjoyment: Choosing to sext, whether it’s a new partner or a long-time one can be very enjoyable! Often a no-strings attached steamy night is all one needs to replenish their sex lives. People opt for this rather than spending hours on a dating app and picking conversations with strangers that might not even yield anything. Choosing this is a way to keep one’s sex life active within a hectic work life. 


 Rules Of Sexting

According to sexologist Sadie Allison, PhD and founder of GoLove CBD lubricant, “whether you’re in a casual or committed relationship, there are helpful sexting guidelines for staying safe physically and mentally. She mentioned some rules:
  1. Consent: The spread of unsolicited pictures is very high on dating apps, which is a violation of choice and decency. Sexting first and foremost needs to be consented equally by both parties, and the ease and comfort of both the people need to be taken care of.


  1. Mindful Sexting: Giving importance to the time and space that you and your partner are in, is a necessity. Sexting at odd hours, like in the middle of the day or when they might have company is not the best idea as it could lead to discomfort or awkwardness. Trying to keep your partner’s environment in mind is ideal. 


  1. Clicking Safe Pictures: Sending anything through the internet isn’t completely safe, as it could be shared and regulated without consent. Thus, making sure that any identifiable features like the face or birthmarks are hidden if it's a new sexting partner or are in a new relationship. 



 Sexting Apps...What To Look For 

An article by Mashable gives some pointers on what to look for when searching for sexting apps-: 
  1. Privacy Features: Having timed conversations and exchanges are the safest bet on a sexting app. Lingering texts or images could end up on someone else’s phone. Using certain apps that delete conversations and photos after a point of time are good choices. Some apps have vanish modes where old conversations get deleted as it continues. 


  1. Safety: Vetting what kind of people you match with, even if it’s just for a fun night. To make sure it’s not a catfishing situation or a bot on the other side, use apps that only let in verified users and link their social media handles. This creates transparency and helps protect both you and your sexting partner.


  1. User-Friendly Platform: When in the flow, stopping feels the worst. So an app that isn’t user-friendly is a bummer as it could derail the conversation while you try to figure out how to attach an image or voice note. Something fast and efficient is the way to go. 


Sexting has played a major part in keeping people’s sex lives active, whether it’s by igniting intimate flames in new relationships or trying to bridge the sexual gap for stressed and overworked people. It can be considered a great release and experience if done carefully and keeping respect and dignity intact. 

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